Some studies suggest that twice as many marriages touched by ADHD end in divorce. You might be surprised by that- the common understanding of ADHD is that it’s mainly diagnosed in energetic grade school boys. In fact, many very intelligent adults aren’t diagnosed because their resourcefulness has helped them learn how to cope, but they are barely hanging on by a thread. And this shows up most clearly in their marriage. Here are some signs your partner might have ADHD (and why you feel perpetually annoyed at them):
- They leave their stuff everywhere.
- They become so engrossed in something that they lose track of time, sometimes for hours.
- They forget to call.
- They forget where their keys are.
- They have trouble with ‘adulting’ (showering regularly, making dinner, doing dishes, etc.)
- You often feel more like their parent than their partner.
- They’re sensitive to criticism that these behaviors upset you.
The list goes on an on. Couples touched by ADHD often need an assessment, coaching, and couples counseling. You can get through this together- know you are not alone in this struggle and there are ways of turning around these trends.