Sex, Gender, and Sexuality

In everyday vernacular, we tend to refer to ourselves and those around us in language that seems interchangeable: male and man, female and women. While seemingly harmless, doing this 1) inaccurately categorizes others and 2) creates a binary in which some people might feel confined. An important distinction to understand is that a person’s sex and gender are two very different identities. Sex, or sex assigned at birth, is exactly that: the biological sex that a person is assigned from the moment they are born based on biological and physiological characteristics such as reproductive organs, chromosomes, and hormones. Sex assigned at birth includes male, female, and/or intersex if the person is born with sex characteristics that are not distinctly male or female.

Gender, on the other hand, is the socially constructed set of characteristics that society has associated with certain gender roles. This can include norms, expectations, and relationships that might be associated with masculinity and femininity, or what we call gender expression. Gender encompasses men, women, transgender, and gender non-binary folks - all of whom prescribe to their own unique set of social norms and expressions. The difference between sex and gender is crucial as we might be born into a specific sex but have traits that do not necessarily align with the expected gender roles associated with it. For some, this can be a distressing process to understand, and we want to affirm that, no matter your sex or gender, your lived experience is one that is valid and worthy of being understood. To put it simply, we all possess different traits that are masculine and feminine and, of course, some that cannot be labeled along this binary. This diversity in sex, gender, and gender expression is what makes people so different and unique.

Sexuality, which is commonly associated with sexual orientation, is a person’s thoughts, feelings, attractions, and behaviors toward other people. Think about moments in your life where you had “butterflies” or “warm and fuzzies” when thinking about another person(s); when you think about wanting to be physically near or in deep conversation with your partner(s); where you think of all the special traits that your special someone(s) possess. All of these experiences speak to a person’s sexuality. Sexuality is a complex, yet integral, part of a person’s identity as it is often the basis for beginning romantic, sexual, and emotional relationships. Not surprisingly, sex and gender might play a big role in what determines a person’s sexuality and how they navigate choosing a partner. As such, it can be a confusing or scary process to explore what feels “good” or “right” for different people. Regardless of which of the above identity vectors you hope to discuss, we are here to help you safely explore them all and provide affirming care along the way.