One of the most ineffably upsetting and frustrating situations in relationships can be in the bedroom. Sex brings us to a new part of ourselves, which we don’t often fully understand or recognize. This uncanny feeling of confusion can be compounded when we don’t recognize our own partner’s sexual selves either. We might feel unseen, misunderstood, or uncared for. Often, problems in the bedroom represent and symbolize bigger problems that arise in the rest of the relationship. For example, you might have trouble asserting your desires with your partner in general, but in the bedroom it feels doubly intolerable to have your needs go unrecognized. Or you might feel your relationship lacks clear communication, and in the bedroom this often ends in a fight or utter hurt and confusion. By and by these common problems can lead to less and less frequent sex, which takes a toll on the relationship as a whole.
Please don’t continue to wait. You are not alone. Sexual intimacy difficulties are ubiquitous. All it takes is a little curiosity and a trained therapist to guide you to a new space of mutual desire in your partnership.