In the human experience, it’s tempting to reduce life into binaries: good or bad, right or wrong, love or hate. These cognitive shortcuts, which you might call dichotomous thinking or black-and-white thinking, can appear to provide clarity. But they actually distort our reality and strain our relationships.

We love our partners yet feel deep frustration over their quirks or behaviors. We eagerly anticipate hosting the holidays but quietly dread the emotional labor involved. We adore our children, yet still feel bored, overwhelmed, exhausted, or even resentful of them.

This does not mean we’re broken. It means we’re human.